I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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