You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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