You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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