ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there's paper in my vomit.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
