Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Too much gin, very little bucket
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
