Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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