I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
