im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I want to fling myself into the sun
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
