I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
