The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
