Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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