Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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