WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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