i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
