so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can feel your judgement through the phone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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