i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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