i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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