it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
