is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
how does that bad decision feel?
His nipple licking is glorious
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