She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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