i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is the high leading the old right now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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