I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
