it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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