Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
