I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Let's get the cat blown out
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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