I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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