Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
