sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
