I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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