Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I can text with my tongue
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Never underestimate the power of titties
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
