All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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