the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
