people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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