Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize