so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize