we're blogging at a bar
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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