She's JV to your varsity
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
