wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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