My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
