if you like me you must not know who I am
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
