so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
