i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize