Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
