Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
