I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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