just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
