I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
