at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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