What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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