In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
