also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize