it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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