I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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