The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
