Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The adults are the big ones right?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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