no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
