Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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