chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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