Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Drunk is not a location!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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