We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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