he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
