if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
His nipple licking is glorious
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