dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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