we're chasing vodka with high fives
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
