Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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