NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
