I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
