the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Girls should come with a carfax report
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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