i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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