what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
