Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
