my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
