i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
